Reading this book will help you answer more of life's seemingly unanswerable questions, such as:
- What attracts us to certain individuals and not others?
- Do couples married for one year and couples married for twenty years share the same love?
- Why do so many people have difficulty finding the person of their dreams?
- Can marriage of convenience result in true love? Is there a biological reason for this?
- Can we really smell a good mate? What is the biological basis for this?
- Why do many of us marry the wrong partner?
Has love changed over the centuries?
Some authors wrote books claiming that love has changed because of modern technologies. But, is this true? The author compares the first known written love story to today's love. Has love changed ?
How can I find love the correct way?
The author gives practical advice on how to find a matching mate, how to manage the "falling-in-love" phase of love, and how to manage the "falling-out-of-love" phase of love.
Dr. Nour discusses seven ways to make our "true love" stronger. He details each method with some illustrative stories he came across in his practice.
Love and the sex drive
Some authors claim that love starts with lust! Is this true? The author discusses why sex is not love, and love is not sex. He also explains the link between sex and love.
- How to know if someone loves you or not
- The difference between heterosexual and homosexual love
- What is the effect of genes on love? Dr. Nour discusses a few genes and explains how these genes alter our ability to love.
- Why do we always marry the wrong, mismatched partner?
- Is fMRI useful in studying love? Dr. Nour explains the questions surrounding fMRI. He shows his reader a summary of the common methods neurologists and neuroscientists use to study the brain.
What is the biological basis of love?
Scientific research tells us that there are two main brain chemical systems involved in love. These chemicals are monoamines and nonapeptides. All behaviors that we think of as love-related are based on the effect of these two chemical systems on the brain.
The book explains in simple, jargon-free language these chemical systems and how love is physically produced in our brains.
Why do we need love?
Is there a purpose for love? Why do we have this strong emotion?
The author explains the biological reasons for love.
Read the book to understand why.
Is love a matter of the heart?
Love—a matter of the heart? Think again! Even with our superior intellect and reasoning skills, humans aren't always quick to accept a new theory. In 450 BC, Hippocrates proposed, “Emotions emanate from the brain.” But, was he ahead of his time, or was he wrong?
Myths about love
The author also discusses in detail many myths and misconceptions about love.
- Romantic love
- Falling out of love
- Fairy tales are love
- They lived happily ever after
- How much I love my mate depends on them
- Dependency on the lover is love
- Codependency on the lover is love
- Love is an addiction
Can love touch us one time and last for a lifetime?
Dr. Nour explains that love comes in four phases, just like having a child, which happens in four phases.
Phase One of Love—Finding the Person of My Dreams
- Do you have a picture of the person of your dreams in your mind?
- Is it defined based on specific, detailed physical characteristics, intellectual characteristics, or both?
- When did you start forming this image of the person of your dreams?
- What determines the details of this mental image? Is it your genes? Your upbringing? Is it your previous experiences with other people? All the above?
The answers to all the questions can be found in our brains.
Phase Two of Love—Romantic Love
Is “love is merely a madness,” as Shakespeare was quoted? The better question might be: Why do lovers act so differently when in love than when not in love? Why do they bounce between exhilaration, euphoria, increased energy, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, trembling, a racing heart and accelerated breathing, as well as anxiety, panic, and feelings of despair when the relationship suffers even the smallest setback?
Dr. Nour explains in detail how everything felt during romance is explained by understanding the brain chemistry of love.
Phase Three of Love—Falling out of Love
Is falling out of love the end of the relationship? No! It's not.
Why is nature cruel to us? Why does it take away that joyful feeling of falling in love?
It is better to ask, "Does falling out of love have a purpose?”.
The author explains the biological reasons for falling out of love and the benefits of this phase of love.
Phase Four of Love—True Love
Nonapeptides are proven to promote pair bonding, monogamy, maternal bonding, and identification with their offspring and the beloved mate. It's also proven to promote trust, a harmonious relationship, and calmness. Intimacy and laughter are proven to promote nonapeptide release, causing more of the above. Nonapeptides affects our perception as well; it makes us feel that our partner is the most beautiful and sexy one around, and make us less interested in other potential partners.
True love is the final and permanent phase of love. It should last the rest of your life.